~fizzleout

...watch the queen conquer...

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About Me Literature / Hobbyist Member CarlyFemale/United States

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Sharp Scissors

Jan 2, 2012, 2:57:23 PM by ~fizzleout
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse

In my dream universe
where sometimes there are nightmares,
we do talk.

You sound just as sultry as ever,
and you still speak by tilting
your head and hiding
your eyes.

I'm still never honest,
because being honest was only a requirement
if we were alone,
and even in dreams
we could never be alone.

That's why the tethers are so strong,
I think,
why we cannot walk away even when we're running.

It was never about you and me,
fucking or fighting or,
occasionally,
loving each other.

It was never, more specifically,
about me or you.

It was always about
every other opinion
out there that could
get in our way and
how you let them
slide between us like
oil through cracks
in a sidewalk.

I don't miss you, I find,
I didn't know you.

We do talk in my dreams
but then you're telling
me stories of your
superstitions and fears,
childish things I held
onto when you turned
into a monster.

I've decided, then,
to stop running.

I'll drop by the store on my way
home;
I'll buy a pair of sharp
scissors.

2 Comments

This is currently a favorite piece of mine. Iit's old-ish kind of. But I love the way it's worded.

Cutting

Apr 1, 2009, 4:04:10 PM by ~fizzleout
Literature / Poetry / Experimental / Other

^{My thighs were first.
Then my wrists.
And shoulders.
And fingers.
And feet.

Everything.
Ripped out at
the seams.

I ripped them out myself,
if only to avoid
giving others the pleasure.

I ripped them out hard,
if only to teach myself
a lesson:
I deserved it.

I ripped them out
and all the while
I sang to myself,
unable to cry
or scream
for fear
that
it would
make the
pain less real.

I joked about them.
I laughed about them.
I smiled about them,
calling myself
"the stupid emo kid"
and believing it was true.

It was true.
To me.

I deserved it.
I needed it.
I craved it.
I wanted it.
I breathed it.
I worshipped it.
I loved it.

And it took me.

The cutting,
it took me.
Into places you can't go without it.
Into places you didn't know existed.
Into places you are afraid to dream.
Into places you never want to leave.

I loved myself. (I hated myself.)

It was so
p
  e
    r
      f
    e
  c
t
to be broken.

Healing hurt more than wounding.
It still hurts more.
And yet you
ask me...
why?

I will never have an answer.}

55 Comments

This is something I'm very proud of writing, not quite as proud of experiencing. If you want to flame, don't read it, the title is pretty self-explanatory.
I guess my point with this piece is that it's a unique experience to every person, and there is no true way to explain it. Everyone has a right to feel their own emotions, as scary as that can get.
Love does heal. It just takes time.

Newest Deviations

Out of the Ashes Reeling.

Mind, body, soul.

Memories of needles against flesh,
hands held,
eyes locked.

Christmas stars on the walls,
feathered masks and jewels
and so much glitter;
I am a four year old's fantasy.

Growing, changing,
breath-takingly alive,
thriving,
thrown-down,
writhing
under sheets,
rejoicing in my body's
capabilities.

Spilling out, twirling, whirling,
hurtling further out into space,
reaching,
setting pace,
exploding into
awesome, sequined,
rebirth.

Out of the ashes rises woman,

she is strong.Out of the Ashes by ~fizzleout

2 Comments

Ink. by ~fizzleout

4 Comments

Spinning
Spinning.
Ten, twenty, fifty, a thousand directions,
all at once,
and fog so dense it's suffocating.

My hands are shaking
and my muscles lock, on and off,
chills and fevers,
blurred vision,
head rocking
back and forth.

So this is what it feels like,
crazy,
insane-asylum-bound,
clawing at my wrists
and dry wailing,
muffled in a pillow
and clinging to whatever is within arms' reach.

Skin crawling,
imagined insects everywhere,
fear and ache and nerves.

I'll never get out
never
NEVER
get out of here,
this head,
this death-trap body
unless I cut
cut
CUT
the ties that bind me,
CUT
the veins restricting me
from the Spinning by ~fizzleout

0 Comments

You, Me, Roses and Rain
You.
Me.
And it was already over
when we were planting the roses,
already over when we were kissing in the rain.
That treasured fragility. It was us.

Just because that's how "us"
goes. We were the poison. It was never only you.
The days in your bedroom when you were the rain.
It was never only me.
The night you landed on my doorstep with the roses.
How we were always insistent it would never be over,

though it was already over.
The moment we proved we would walk away, we should never have stayed. "Us"
just a myth after too many roses,
after you,
after me.
Wave upon wave, efforts wasted, after the rain.

The rain.
And when You, Me, Roses and Rain by ~fizzleout

0 Comments

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Killjoys Journal...? Oh yes.

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Writing a journal purely because I now have the coolest CSS of all time. Ever. Forever.

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MCRmy ftw. <3

That is all.

~fizzleout

3 Comments

Mood: Adoration
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Carly Taylor
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature

United States

^{Yepp. The mastermind herself. ~fizzleout}

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~crazycookielove Jan 9, 2012 Student Interface Designer

hey how have you been?

--
[link] this is me.
I go nomnom on you *bite* did that hurt sorry.
I am me and you cant change who i am with your words.

~RavenShayne Jan 9, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Grraawwerrrr.

it's forking time!

~RavenShayne Jan 6, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

you havent put up the ones in your Creative Writing notebook.... >.<

--

it's forking time!

~fizzleout Jan 6, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

^{Working on it :]}

--
^{...be what tomorrow needs...}

~RavenShayne Jan 4, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

HERRO!!!!

--

it's forking time!

~fizzleout Jan 6, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

^{ello luv :]}

--
^{...be what tomorrow needs...}

~xXIntoTheAbyssXx Nov 15, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

HAI CARLY

TIS JOJO ^_^

--
I've lost my reason, rhythm, and rhyme,
I've lost myself, I'm gone this time.
Cross my heart and hope to die,
I use this knife to wonder why.

~fizzleout Nov 19, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

^{Heyyy :] :]}

--
^{...be what tomorrow needs...}

~xXIntoTheAbyssXx Nov 20, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

Heyy der ^_^

--
I've lost my reason, rhythm, and rhyme,
I've lost myself, I'm gone this time.
Cross my heart and hope to die,
I use this knife to wonder why.

~XxSayakaxX Jul 27, 2011 Student Digital Artist

..I'm stalking your dA.
-thisisAnnabtw-

XD

--
^{Mirror, mirror on the wall, break me down, and watch me fall.}

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