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Multi-Facet Addiction by =fizzleout:iconfizzleout:



She walks through empty streets,
in all the dark and the deceit,
meets the man in the crowd,
with the mulit-colored mirrors,
and she slips him the bills,
he passes her the skills,
to be high with addiction to the heroin.

He walks down the halls,
through the rises and the falls,
And he lays awake each night,
and he lays in bed each day,
with the bottle in his hand,
and he sways each time he stands,
to be drunk with addiction to the alcohol.

She dips the brush in ink,
and with her hands begins to think,
onto canvas virgin white,
ready and waiting for her stroke,
now she creates the beauty new,
like wild birds her brushes flew,
to be revered with addiction to the painting.

He stretches muscles tense,
and re-cheks his common sense,
then he bursts onto the feild,
fighting with his team of seven,
when the ball contacts his foot,
and his face as dark as soot,
to be honored with addiction to the game.

She cries upon the floor,
with the lock sealing the door,
and the razor in her wrist,
and the trying to resist,
trying always just to stop,
and she feels ready to pop,
to be bled with addiction to the self-injury.

I slide my hands as spiders trained,
releasing words that pour like rain,
across the keys as pianist would play,
the one way I thrive from the night to the day,
and nothing can catch them now that they are free,
these words are my comfort and a part of me,
to be cherished with addiction to the poetry.
©2008-2009 =fizzleout
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Submitted: June 23, 2008
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Author's Comments

For ~writeaway's "Great Glass Competition"
Check out the news artice here: [link]

I REALLY want ctitique!!!! PLEASE COMMETNT!!!! BE HARSH!!!!!

First stanza reference to The Beatles's "Happiness is a Warm Gun" (my favorite song by them)
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very nice some of the slight breaks in rhyme throw u off but thats ok it gives it character. The only part that seemes to not make sense is the 3rd stanza, but then again i might be crazy. otherwise it is a great poem

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"if I dont kill you, can i have a hug?"
It's weird because you put really negative emotions and darker themes, then you put a lighter one in and it throws it off. @^@;;;

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~linky390 ~jkjester ~FlingThingPen ~vosrp ~retroragtag ~JulliaKim
wowie!!! I love this!!!!!!!!

ya I do find some abrupt breaks in rhythm...

and unlike hitomi2009, I didn't find the breaks in rhyme... so I dont think thats important...

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~Mayisha
thats kind of the point...

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~Mayisha
I found breaks in rhythm... I didn't notice the breaks in rhyme...... o.O

how does the 3rd stanza not make sense? makes perfect sense to me..

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~Mayisha
It could be more fluid is all. c: She said to be harsh, and that was my honest thought~

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~linky390 ~jkjester ~FlingThingPen ~vosrp ~retroragtag ~JulliaKim
by the way I love the metaphor usage in the painting and poetry ones
they set those two apart from the rest of the poem and make them seem superior to the other addictions

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~Mayisha
well the main point is the contrast between the darker ones and the happier ones...and putting them mixed together in the order adds to the variety effect
and also suggests that one person can have more than one addiction

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~Mayisha
i dont know it doesnt fit, maybe if it was moved but love i dont really need to justify to u do i?

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"if I dont kill you, can i have a hug?"
hmmmm... posibilities are endless...and so many choices... oh well...its her choice... not ours...

meh... its not about justifying... I'm typing away cause I'm sick...in bed...cant sleep and have nothing better to do...

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~Mayisha

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